What makes your life worth getting out of bed in the morning? Do you have a dread of what lies ahead, or does the idea of another day give your heart a leap of joy?
Are the challenges before you seemingly insurmountable, or have you gotten a plan to make a difference in your own situation or in the world?
I have been sick for two months, and it has been difficult to get out of bed in the morning. To tell you the truth, it is for the love of my son, to make his breakfast and help him start his day, that I manage to comb my hair and dress. I think he sees through it, I think I discourage him with my weakness, but I am giving it my best shot, I really am.
Now I am going to try to get more exercise. Today I will join the gym again and try to regain some physical strength.
Baby steps. I hope God will give me a job I can handle, so that once again I can feel the joy of a new day ahead, instead of just trying to make it through. I pray for strength. I think of others with much harder challenges and pray for them, also. May God give us all strength through his infinite love. Amen

Hurt by religion: Our mother was always such a religion rebel. She rebelled so sadly, Rosie and I instinctively knew she had been hurt by the church. She was a heretic, her beliefs so far from biblical they defined the term. But she was also a kind person whose heart always went out to people rejected by "society." She marched for cures for birth defects, and made new doll clothes for our collections each Christmas. She made holidays special and her friends and family felt loved. She prayed for the end of suffering and illness.
Yet she could not behave in church.
I have always given "organized religion" the benefit of the doubt, because the whole dang organization is composed of imperfect people.
I am pushing 60 now, and I am getting pretty tired of helping people pick up the pieces of their life when thoughtless Christians, Jews or others hurt with their words and the twist of a belief.
I am tired of justifying the tyranny of the poor by the rich, which happens in churches just like any place else.
I am thankful that my mother remained faithful to God, a creator whose work she truly appreciated, while she wandered around the faith cafeteria making selections from doctrines with her not too inadequate intellect.
I am thankful for the times I disagreed with her heresies, but understood that she agreed with Jesus Christ, that loving the poor was a lot more important than understanding the intricacies of the Trinity.
I am opening a new chapter in my spiritual life. For Christ's sake, I will still read the morning and evening offices of the Book of Common Prayer, but I am no longer seeing myself an Anglican Catholic.
For far too long I have done this in the patience of a dog learning obedience by "staying" and "waiting."
I feel young as I shoulder my Bible and loose (I use this word on purpose) the rest of the luggage.
I hope I don't hurt anyone's faith anymore. I hope with less baggage, my prayers for the healing of myself and others will just be more effective.
I am thankful for a long line of faithful family members who practiced their religion with social conscience and intelligence. I am also thankful for my mother the independent thinker, whose conscience was perhaps the best honed of all of them!

Happy Birthday to the Church. That Jewish "Feast of Weeks" which occurred fifty days after Passover each year on the Hebrew calendar found Jesus's friends all gathered together in Jerusalem awaiting further instructions from their leader.
I bet most of them thought they would see and visit with their friend and rabbi that day. Surely no one was prepared to have their hats blown off and tongues of fire on top of their heads. They didn't forsee they would be speaking in tongues, or that goofy Peter would finally attach his tongue to his heart and brain and deliver a powerful sermon that moves believers to this day.
I'd say it was a "surprise birthday party!"
Seriously, I would like to give a gift of true repentence to this party this year. Over the years as I have searched for the truth, I have made Peter's worst blunders look brilliant. I have offended people in Jesus's name for all sorts of reasons. I am truly sorry for my lack of wisdom, my narrow vision and my limited trust in God.
If Christ can use this gift, I am glad. It's probably one thing that won't ever get regifted!

I just spent one uncomfortable post-surgical night trying to find something decent to listen to on the radio. All I could find to listen to were people who could find no moral difference between the U. S. and Al Queda.
More than I have ever seen in my life, it seems that spokespeople from government and intellegentia see our country as an entity with no intrinsic moral purpose. The conflicts we find ourselves in seem to matter no more to the commentators on the radio than where the line is drawn down the middle of a bedroom shared by two selfish brothers.
Islam, the religion of peace, and Christianity apparently enjoy moral equivalence, but Judaism seems to have slipped further back in the pack as a respected religion, somewhere behind the animism that is the philosophical underpinning of the green movement. Every channel I heard, every article I read last night was no more than starkly cynical.
This is not the truth about the United States of America.
The fact is, this nation has been a unique and successful attempt for mankind to be its best.
This nation was built like a pyramid with one strong intellectual or moral value stacked on top of another.
This nation was born of the great idea that educated, free people could rule themselves. The ideas, which began with the great Greeks and Latin thinkers, were enriched by the teachings of Jesus Christ, who taught us that we are created in God's image and were charged to love our neighbors as ourselves. The Judaic God of the Word and Law allowed our thinkers to look for patterns in the universe. Science was born. Science working with the nobility of human life gave us the practice of scientific medicine and the ability to improve agriculture and manufacturing. Ideas were leading to longer lives with increased meaning. Beautiful art expressed belief in symetry and reason.
Reading the words of the founders, we are always struck by how generous they were. The shame of slavery contrasted severely with the rest of the noble ideas our ancestors had, and eventually we conquered that shame.
George Washington is not thought of as a great hero today to many people, but he is one to me. He threw away a kingship to set the course for the future where all men would become equal.
No country's founding is perfect. However, I believe this nation's founding is the noblest undertaking in the history of the world. It wasn't just the Presbyterians for the Presbyterians. Our founders stretched their hearts and minds to their very limits in the pursuit of the idea that given freedom, education and the chance to work hard, the human species could rise not to the lamentable lust for power and wealth for its own sake, but for the beautiful idea that individuals and families could select meaningful lives in the service of others or in making new and better ways to live, socially and in agriculture and in the life of the mind. The common man would not be so common any more.
It is so degrading to see our forefathers' great struggle for achievement spit upon for its shortcomings. Truly great shifts in moral thought stretched us and grew us and through great struggle and growth, we have become better people, generous to our neighbors foreign and domestic.
Our moral struggles do continue, but without the understanding of the suffering and sacrifice made by individuals for the uniquely great ideas that founded our country there is little chance for great strides in the future like the ones we have accomplished in the past.
This is Memorial Day. Toward the end of the Civil War, my grandfather's father sat by the sides of sick and dying soldiers and helped them write letters home. In his own writings, he noted how moved he had been that idealism for a better world drove simple farmers to suffer and die so that even more people could enjoy the fruits of freedom.
I heard one Baghdad chieftain's words to my son, as he translated the arabic words under a photo of this man's beautiful brown-eyed children. "These are my boys--I hope they grow up like you."
We are the good guys. The bodies lying under the crosses and stars across the vast veterans' cemeteries stand for a long, vigorous line of men and women and their families who lived and died for the greatest idea in history--that given freedom, people will do good things with it.
Honor the dead today by studying, truly trying to understand, the great ideas our loved ones have sacrificed their lives to perpetuate.
Our country is a new thing--a good thing. Study what that is, as it may be our world's one and only chance for greatness.

We just finished Armed Services Day and Memorial Day is just around the corner. This is as good a time as any to tell everyone that I am a big fan of the United States of America. I am very grateful to our people in the armed services for their dedication every day. I am especially grateful to those who have given their lives for our county.
Our family goes back to the American Revolution. We have one ancestor who spent the winter at Valley Forge. What a visionary! What a revolutionary idea! To start a new nation with ideas of liberty and personal responsibility! How exciting to have been part of it.
To read what George Washington wrote about his soldiers there that winter, it is impossible for me to fathom how miserable they must have been. They were mostly naked that cold windy winter. They were barefoot. Many deserted and I doubt if they could be blamed.
But to have stuck with it for the idea of a new way of living was to be hopeful and intelligent. Our armed forces have continued to be the best of us throughout the years.
They are us. It isn't just the "lower classes" who have no hope of a future. Many of our presidents have been enlisted soldiers or sailors or Marines. Today, the services reflect the cross section of our population. They are the brave ones of us.
I recently visited Arlington cemetary where our son is a company commander in the Old Guard. His responsibilities include caring for the 52 caisson horses who pull the coffins to the graves in that solemn place.
Each evening, when the horses are washed down, fed and put in their roomy stalls, the volunteer soldiers get to work cleaning the saddles and harness used that day. Every strap must be clean and perfect to be used to bury someone who served our country in the military services. Arlington is a place where we look at the garden of headstones to see our friends and family who died to keep us free.
All men die, says William Wallace in Braveheart, but not all men really live. To live fully is to live for an idea you are willing to give your life defending.
It is sad to lay these men and women to rest, but we can always take heart that they were willing to give their lives for a sacred ideal.
For only when we are free can we truly give our lives for our personal dreams of a better world. Only free people can worship well and love one another to the fullest extent of their potential.
Freedom is a wonderful idea and the folk who have given their lives for its expression have my prayers all the time.
This memorial day I will be thinking of all the people through the years who have served so bravely to hallow our country's grounds with their blood.
I will be thinking of their families who miss them so much and who will never be the same after their death. They are my heroes, too.
With all my heart I thank those who have gone before and those who still serve in discomfort and danger, far from their families in places we at home cannot comprehend.
Thank you, one and all. May we who benefit from your sacrifice take it seriously enough to do our job in keeping our country free.

Happy Mothers' Day, even if you aren't one. Let's just celebrate the system. Hormones flow through woman's blood as she gives birth to her child. Each part of the biological act of becoming a mother sets up the relationship. Mom is going to love that baby for the rest of its--and her--life.
Since I sincerely believe that love makes the world go 'round, and that the unfound force in the universe that makes it all work in quantum physics is also love, I think we have a lot to celebrate on Mothers' Day.
Mother love differs from romantic love, friendship or altruism. Although it is a biological force of nature, mother love has trancendent aspects that give it great dignity.
Mothers will do anything to protect their children. Mothers believe in their children and hope for their future. Mothers would rather gain happiness by way of bringing it to their children, than to chase after it directly.
Mothers love unselfishly. One important example is this is the mother who gives her child up for adoption. The same hormones coursing through other mothers' bodies flow through hers, yet this mother has the courage to have a child she cannot raise, conceived in questionable circumstances, and fight her natural impulse to grasp it to her breast to give the baby a stable, loving home. That reminds me: Mother love is often courageous.
Mothers use every bit of the intelligence, cunning, insight, strength and talent they possess to successfuly launch their children.
Mothers never give up and mothers never quit loving their children.
It may be complicated. Families never seem to understand one another, even though they share history, genes and culture, but mother love is one of the simplest, purest form of love that exists. Everyone is different, and so the basic, true, biological link between mother and child is different in every family. No two loves are alike. Each love is a beautiful entity itself, even if a woman has many different children.
Mother-child love is a wonderful idea. I wonder who thought of it? Well, then, praise Him!

COL.0423.Canda Chronicles. High heels and mud.500
Spring is in the air, and several events this past weekend confirmed what we are hearing in the song of the first meadowlarks and watching, as fresh, lively red calves begin to dot the newly greened meadows.
Our first clue to an exciting change of season was the rumor of a weekend snowstorm on the horizon which would bring feet, not just inches of the white stuff. Phone trees went to work: The prom was on, the after prom party was snowed out; baseball and track were postponed; the county fair small livestock weigh-in was on. We were busy just keeping track!
One of our favorite spring rituals is the school prom. I am always impressed how girls can find pretty dresses and fancy shoes no matter where they live.
Our local ladies seem to instinctively know how to find that certain color to bring out the sparkle in their eyes and the dress style to bring out the sparkle in their dates’ eyes.
This year, the junior-senior prom took place at the new Club at Pizza Madness. It was attractive and sophisticated, made more so by the tasteful decorations the committee chose to use in “Night Behind the Mask.”
Bill and I sneaked in during the promenade, when parents and friends are encouraged to come see the clothes and decorations. As we entered the darkened room, we heard strains from “Phantom of the Opera.” We were pleased to see the youth’s nice manners toward each other.
Even our school’s cowboys, who often eschew formal wear, knowing they look dashing no matter what, decided to dress up, respecting the feelings of their beautifully coiffed and coutured dates.
When Sunday arrived after only a few hours of sleep, our hardy youth noticed another welcome sign of spring—mud!
At our house, Bill and Mark loaded up our youngest son’s FFA pigs wondering if the stock trailer would get stuck as it backed up to the animal pens. Luckily, we didn’t even get stuck at the other end, Custer County fairground, which was even sloppier, if possible.
It tickled me so much to see the same lovely young girls, again appropriately attired, this time in Carhartt farm jackets and knee high rubber boots. They looked just as beautiful to me, and I felt so happy because our lovely princesses and their handsome princes are not too fancy to appreciate their ranching heritage and get a little muddy doing so.
Within 24 hours, these kids had managed to get themselves to a formal party despite a couple of feet of snow, then brave excessive mud and little sleep to further their agricultural projects and dreams.
Ahh spring! When a young person’s fancy turns to romance and visions of profit at the county fair, which is a mere 80 days or so away!
We are lucky to have such spunky kids in our midst, and they are lucky to be growing up in our beautiful Valley!
Joanne Ca

Wednesday before Easter

Only a few days are left before Easter, and our hearts and minds turn to the Atonement, the bloody sacrifice God made for us of himself offered for mankind past, present and future.
While this is the doctrine that sets our religion apart. it is the most difficult thing in the world to comprehend.
Our 20th century prophet to the people, C. S. Lewis, claimed to have trouble understanding it. His depiction of the death and resurrection of Aslan sort of makes the top layer of the Atonement understandable, but in the end, Lewis can only explain it to us as "deeper magic."
"Greater love hath no man than to give up his life for his friends. Ye are my friends." Perhaps Christ's explanation is the closest thing to understandable to me.
Christ is a mortal representationof the immortal Lord of Life. His birth and death sancitify all our lives--that he is willing to become one of us makes our form holy--even I can understand that part.
Jesus's sinless sacrifice isn't just the death of a mortal man, but a bloody sacrifice of the most powerful force and mass in the universe. If you can fully comprehend this in all its meanings, quantum physics should be a snap for you.
I think one of the points of the Atonement IS that its entirety is unknowable to us at this time. When we are with Christ is heaven, we will understand all sorts of things we see darlky through a glass now.
In the meantime, all we know is that it is our job to love God and to love our neighbors. This is our commandment. Only through the atonement can we do it. Let us turn our lives toward accomplishing those things Christ asked of us until the veil is parted and we understand how, really, God has honored us with his sacrifice.
Happy Easter everyone!

This morning is Palm Sunday. For the first time ever, I regret Lent is not longer. Oh yes, part of it is because I did not give up coffee this year. It also has to do with the spirit God has generously poured out with my commitment to the morning and evening prayer offices.
Since my conversion in 1974, I have loved morning and evening prayer. Intermittantly through the years I have been faithful to one or the other. This is the first time I have committed to do both.
I wish we as the Church Militant, the church here on earth at this time, would all commit to these beautiful offices.
I know all my friends pray through the day, and that all their prayers are good--prayers of praise, prayers of repentence, intercessory prayer and prayers of thanksgiving. How much more powerful would our church be if we prayed the same words--the same words prayed by the saints who came before us and now join us in the Church Universal.
I believe this is why my spirit has soared through this Lent, even as my body has been used by Satan to try to bring me down.
Morning and Evening prayer--prayed together through all the time zones across the world, together as one church--it would be a very big earthquake as God would be able to work through us all.
Please try it! I will find you a prayer book if you will~ I love you with God's Love~may your Holy Week honor God and strengthen His church on earth