Hurt by religion: Our mother was always such a religion rebel. She rebelled so sadly, Rosie and I instinctively knew she had been hurt by the church. She was a heretic, her beliefs so far from biblical they defined the term. But she was also a kind person whose heart always went out to people rejected by "society." She marched for cures for birth defects, and made new doll clothes for our collections each Christmas. She made holidays special and her friends and family felt loved. She prayed for the end of suffering and illness.
Yet she could not behave in church.
I have always given "organized religion" the benefit of the doubt, because the whole dang organization is composed of imperfect people.
I am pushing 60 now, and I am getting pretty tired of helping people pick up the pieces of their life when thoughtless Christians, Jews or others hurt with their words and the twist of a belief.
I am tired of justifying the tyranny of the poor by the rich, which happens in churches just like any place else.
I am thankful that my mother remained faithful to God, a creator whose work she truly appreciated, while she wandered around the faith cafeteria making selections from doctrines with her not too inadequate intellect.
I am thankful for the times I disagreed with her heresies, but understood that she agreed with Jesus Christ, that loving the poor was a lot more important than understanding the intricacies of the Trinity.
I am opening a new chapter in my spiritual life. For Christ's sake, I will still read the morning and evening offices of the Book of Common Prayer, but I am no longer seeing myself an Anglican Catholic.
For far too long I have done this in the patience of a dog learning obedience by "staying" and "waiting."
I feel young as I shoulder my Bible and loose (I use this word on purpose) the rest of the luggage.
I hope I don't hurt anyone's faith anymore. I hope with less baggage, my prayers for the healing of myself and others will just be more effective.
I am thankful for a long line of faithful family members who practiced their religion with social conscience and intelligence. I am also thankful for my mother the independent thinker, whose conscience was perhaps the best honed of all of them!